WHAT HAPPENS ON THE BOAT STAYS ON THE BOAT
2/20/2008 12:21:18 PM by Wave Editorial Staff
Wave’s editors and foreign correspondents often find themselves in some pretty sticky situations while out at sea in search of that next great story idea. Here are a few we thought might be worth a mention.
MODERN-DAY MERMAID?
Conflicting reports says that a naked woman fell off a party yacht and was rescued by a local fishing boat off the coast of Miami. The report goes on to say that the fishermen heard the woman yelling in the darkness. They found her treading water and threw her a flotation device as instructed by the Coast Guard, but didn’t let her onboard as the Coast Guard was on their way. After the busy Coast Guard took too long to show up, the fishermen hauled her aboard. This was when they realized that she didn’t have any clothes on. To further complicate the matter, the woman didn’t speak Spanish and the fishermen didn’t speak English. Additional eyewitness reports say “a young woman was rescued in Government Cut by a good Samaritan who turned her over to the Coast Guard. She simply fell off the boat and nobody noticed.” Yet, strangely, there are no official reports of this occurrence, although everyone does agree that if a naked woman fell off their boat, they’d most definitely notice.
BIRTHDAY BOW
Based on our extensive experience on the subject, we’ve come to the conclusion that what happens on the boat just about never stays on the boat. Such is the case with the birthday party Jennifer Lopez threw for her husband Marc Anthony. It started out ostensibly as a quiet birthday dinner between the couple. What Anthony didn’t know was that Lopez had arranged for a mega-yacht to arrive with all of Anthony’s friends on board singing “Happy Birthday.” Anthony was reportedly stunned as he boarded the yacht and the celebration continued afloat. During the party, Lopez was quoted as saying how much she wanted to have children. Then just two months later, her pregnancy was announced. Can we guess who may have christened the master stateroom? Wonder if they’ll give the kids yachty names.
YACHT BALLIN’
Former basketball superstar Latrell Sprewell once turned down a $21 million dollar contract offered by the Milwaukee Timberwolves by deeming it insulting and complaining that he had a family to feed. Today, he must be seriously regretting that decision, as his $1.5 million yacht Milwaukee’s Best is repossessed. According to court documents Sprewell has defaulted his $10,322 monthly payments on a $1.3 million mortgage loan. His time aboard wasn’t always smooth sailing. The Milwaukee-based athlete docked the 70-foot yacht behind his River Hills home. He once had to have it towed there after running aground at Atwater Beach. Another time he broke his hand while aboard, just before the start of the 2002-2003 season.
SWAN LOVE
A black Australian swan named Petra in Germany made international news when she began to have a hot and heavy romance with a swan-shaped pedal boat on Aasee Lake. She romanced her plastic boyfriend by circling him, staring and cooing. As the weather turned cooler, Petra refused to abandon her true love and fly south. Park keepers were worried what would happen when the temperatures went below zero and the swan boats were put up for the season. The nearby Allwetter Zoo came up with the solution of housing Petra and her pedal boat partner in their pond, which is more protected than the open lake. The decision, however, has been taken out of the hands of officials as Petra has moved her affections from the boat to a young male swan at the zoo where she is residing for the winter. Zoo officials are keeping a close eye on Petra to see if she has truly ditched her boat boyfriend or is just playing the field.
OCEAN’S 9.2 MILLION
In the category of “more-sentimental-than-scandalous” is the recent fundraiser the Ocean’s 13 cast held to benefit troubled Darfur. More than $9.2 million was raised by hosts George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon and Don Cheadle aboard the Elegant while cruising the French Riviera. The 237-foot megayacht currently ranks number 49 on the world’s Top 100 list. Guests plunked down $25,000 each for the unparalleled dinner and cruise, which was a “hands-on” experience, one affluent Matt Damon fan claims. “I offered to donate an additional $50,000 if he performed a private Chippendale show for me, and he was a real good sport about it,” she says. “He didn’t let me down.”
BEST-SELLER AT SEA
Famed best-selling author Danielle Steel has an amazing 70 top titles to her name, but the one that’s going to stand out most will be the upcoming sizzler based on her ex-husband’s conviction on a yachting accident. This shocking case of loose lips in print will recount the insider’s version of the scandalous 1996 trial of Perkins, who’d been racing his yacht off the French coast when he accidentally capsized a smaller boat, resulting in the death of a doctor aboard. “I was met by armed members of the Coast Guard and I was arrested,” recalls Perkins, when asked to comment on the upcoming book. “The next morning someone showed me the front page of one of the Paris tabloids. The headline read: ‘Monster American Yacht Kills French Doctor!’” “I guess she’s got a great plot line,” adds Perkins, who received no jail time and a $10,000 fine for the incident. “But I don’t think I’ll be reading it. After all, I’ve already lived it.”