WHAT HAPPENS ON THE BOAT STAYS ON THE BOAT
8/29/2007 2:11:33 PM by Wave Editorial Staff
Wave’s editors and foreign correspondents often find themselves in some pretty sticky situations while out at sea in search of that next great story idea. Here are a few we thought might be worth a mention.
THE MILE-DRENCHED CLUB
The mayor of an unnamed West Coast city who has a reputation for being an active member of the Mile High Club with girlfriends and campaign volunteers alike recently took to the sea. “His secretary went into the bathroom off the master stateroom and she didn’t come back out,” says an unnamed source, referring to the yacht loaned by a supporter of the mayor who was hosting a fundraiser aboard for the man’s reelection fund. “About five minutes later, the mayor went into the same bathroom. I don’t know how soundproof he thought yachts were, but those who’d wandered below to inspect the gorgeous furnishings really got an earful.” The mayor’s press spokesman stated later that, “The mayor was simply using a different bathroom, the ensuite for the VIP stateroom, at the time one of his guests and her long-time boyfriend decided to get frisky aboard.” The yacht’s owner was not available for comment. Guess all the king-size beds aboard seemed too obvious.
HAPPY (DIVORCE) ANNIVERSARY!
A wealthy French couple known for their completely outrageous antics chartered the same yacht they’d gotten married on four years earlier to hold their divorce party. The raucous bacchanal went on for 48 hours with champagne fountains and haute hors d’oeuvres flowing lavishly. Other favored activities included topless sunbathing and discrete rendezvous to a nearby deserted cove via the luxury tenders. Both husband and wife left the boat with new partners, after he reportedly entertained the female guests vigorously. Such fun was had by all, says an unnamed source, the couple is thinking of celebrating the second anniversary of their divorce in a similar manner next year.
POLITICAL TRASH COLLECTOR
An unnamed city councilman recently participated in his local waterway cleanup. His boat brought in an interesting haul, including tires and a bicycle frame that he reportedly found on the side of a canal and brought to an assigned drop-off point to be disposed of properly. He and his crew subsequently won the cash awards for “Most Unique Item Found” (a broken lawnmower) and “Most Trash Collected.” Due to his political position, he even made the newspaper with a large photo of him and his crew and their accumulated “cleaning.” His neighbor saw the article and accompanying photograph and recognized the “found” items as having been in the man’s garage over the previous year. He tipped the newspaper who sent out a reporter who discovered that the city councilman merely pulled his trailered boat around to his garage door, loaded it up with things he wanted to get rid of, put the boat in the water, and drove to the nearest waterway cleanup drop site. The man, who still claims he did no such thing, was forced to return the awards and checks, and his re-election is looking dicey.
BOW BUNNY
Beyoncé learned the hard way to be careful what you do on your boyfriend’s yacht when there are high-powered paparazzi zoom lenses within range. The lesson came after photographs of her flaunting her famous butt aboard Jay-Z’s yacht flooded the Internet. In some photos she’s kissing Jay-Z, causing gossip-monger imaginations to run wild about the couple on their romantic cruise off the glamorous coast of France. A spokesman for the R&B songstress denied rumors surfacing that she and her rap star-turned-music executive boyfriend planned to quietly tie the knot. Likewise, a spokeswoman for Jay-Z said she had no knowledge of impending nuptials for the couple.
ROYAL RIDE
Recently released excerpts of Prince Charles’ diary caused an uproar across Britain. His writings show that he still hasn’t gotten over the loss of the royal yacht Britannia. In one particular journal entry he wrote to complain that then-Prime Minister, Tony Blair had no time to fully appreciate the comforts of Britannia. “If only he could have seen the yacht with the receptions and dinners underway and heard people’s reactions...but they are all in such a hurry,” he continues, “so they never really learn about anything. As I left on my final journey on Britannia, I stood on the deck, gazing at the departing Hong Kong skyline and telling myself that perhaps it is good for the soul to have to say goodbye to that (the British rule of Hong Kong) and the dear yacht in the same year. Perhaps...” British citizens, in turn, feel that he-who-might-be-king-one-day should be satisfied with his castles and friends like the Latsis family, who loaned him their yacht several times, most notably for his honeymoon with Camilla. The yacht loans sparked further controversy about his accepting large gifts. Even his father, Prince Phillip, was critical. To the rest of us mortals, the yacht rents out for 200 pounds per week.
YACHT GRAB
Rebecca Gayheart, of Harvard Man, Scream 2 and Noxzema commercial fame, is the latest celebrity to discover that what happens on the boat doesn’t stay on the boat when you’re famous. While on a yachting vacation earlier this summer with her hunky husband Eric Dane of Grey’s Anatomy, off the coast of Porto Cervo, Italy, she took her European location to heart and went topless while aboard. The photos were splashed across the Internet within 24 hours. In addition, photographers caught her grabbing her husband’s unmentionables, a photo that surely didn’t make it into the family album. Reportedly, Gayheart is being a good sport about the entire matter.