WHAT HAPPENS ON THE BOAT STAYS ON THE BOAT
4/30/2007 11:45:38 AM by
Wave’s editors and foreign correspondents often find themselves in some pretty sticky situations while out at sea in search of that next great story idea. Here are a few we thought might be worth a mention.
Compiled by Wave Editorial Staff
WAVE WEDDING
We all know that what happens on the boat is supposed to stay on the boat. In this case, it not only got off the boat, it ended up on more than a dozen boats at two different sandbars and leaked all the way from Miami to Washington, D.C. to Munich, Germany. A Wave staffer recently had one too many on a recent weekend escape to Bimini on our new WaveLife boat and proposed to one of the female German guests aboard. The two were seen smooching and snuggling throughout the majority of the trip, and although they were egged-on by a gang of on-lookers, no nudity can be reported on this trip. The engagement ring consisted of a shiny Heineken can tab. Upon hearing the news, both parties called their family members, he contacting his prominent father in Washington, D.C., she texting her family back in Germany. After the engagement, 12 hours of public displays of affection ensued, which quickly fizzled at an on-land barbecue that preceded the excursion. Within 24 hours, the engagement was called off, although the sparks are still bright between the two.
GLASS-BOTTOM ORGY
A Great Lakes glass bottom boat tour company denies all allegations, but locals say that the tour employees took the boat out on a shake-down cruise after some engine repairs and decided to get a bit frisky aboard. Unfortunately, the staff chose to drop anchor unbeknownst to them near some divers for the orgy-style party aboard. The curious divers swam over to look at the unique vessel and got more than an eye-full through the glass window below. “All sorts of naked body parts were sprawled all over the place and were mashed against the glass,” says one witness. The participating employees were dismissed, again with the company denying everything and saying the “layoffs were due to cutbacks.” We’ll have to see if they change their story when the photos — as they always do — hit the Internet.
SEASICK LOVIN’
Jackie had just met the man of her dreams. Tall, dark, handsome, and he had a yacht. What could be more perfect for a perky South Florida girl? After several dates that had gone very well, they decided to take a romantic weekend out on the boat. Jackie had never been on a boat before, but figured that on a 50-footer she wouldn’t be susceptible to any mal de mer. She soon found out differently, but was to embarrassed to tell anyone about her turning stomach lest she look like a wimp. The boyfriend leaned over to kiss her just as a powerful bile-filled wake escaped her lips and rocked the anchored boat. You can guess what happened next.
FROM HEMINGWAY, WITH LOVE
Recently, 30 private love letters, poems and telegrams between Ernest Hemingway and Marlene Dietrich were donated to Boston’s JFK Library. Although it’s not likely that either wrote these letters on a boat, Hemingway’s eternal connection with the sea qualifies their love affair for this section. Spanning from 1949 to 1959, these treasure trails of love document the romantic affair between the two, including the pet names they had for each other and seven authentically signed letters, 18 typed-signed letters, four telegrams and a Christmas card. The letters were written by Hemingway throughout his world travels from places including Cuba, Paris, Italy, Kenya and Spain. The letters show that both had problems with monogamy with past partners and showcase the evolution of their connection to each other. The last known letter was sent to Hemingway at the Mayo Clinic , where he was being treated for depression. He killed himself two weeks later. Whether or not the contents of the letter sparked his suicide is up to speculation. That’s all we can tell you for now — the papers will be made public later this year.
HUSH-HUSH HONEYMOON
Where do Hollywood luminaries go to avoid a nasty scandal? In the case of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, he called up a good friend — Australia’s richest man, James Packer — and asked to borrow his yacht. The honeymoon at sea occurred immediately after the Cruises left residents and officials of Bracciano, Italy vehemently annoyed after the couple refused to publicly thank the town for the pandemonium their wedding had caused. The escape yacht, the Arctic P, is a formidable floating fortress for avoiding bad press. The newlyweds took the luxury vessel to the Maldives chain of 1,200 mostly uninhabited islands. “The yacht is not far from the main resorts in the Male area,” says one Maldives regular. “They stayed on board and visited various islands.” Despite the secrecy surrounding what the Italian news dubbed the “invisible wedding,” the paparazzi got a record number of photos of the couple aboard. The couple claims that it was bad weather and not the irritated Italian media that made them cut their honeymoon cruise short.
SILENT NIGHT
Seventy-plus years after the mysterious 1924 death of producer-director Thomas Ince, the cause still remains a whodunit. Although the official cause of death was cited as indigestion or heart attack, rumors still abound that newspaper magnate William Randolph Hearst shot Ince aboard his yacht, Oneida. Adding to the suspicion is the fact that there was no coroner’s inquest and Ince’s body was quickly cremated. Hearst had invited Ince aboard for a small party cruise for his 43rd birthday. Also aboard was Hearst’s longtime love, Marion Davies and 15 other guests. If Ince was indeed shot, it was most likely by mistake. Hearst was suspicious of Marion Davies and Charlie Chaplin, and invited Chapin along so he could watch how the pair behaved toward each other. One theory is that Hearst came upon Davies and Chaplin in a compromising position. While Marion’s scream brought guests running, Hearst was said to take off to get the gun he kept aboard. In the subsequent melee Ince, not Chaplin, received a fatal bullet to his brain. True? We’ll probably never know.